3:57 p.m. I made a semi breakthrough with my mom last night.

A discussion about Tom came up and my mom, as per usual, clammed up. I asked why she never talked about him to me. She retort that she assumed I was never interested. I returned, telling her I never had interest meeting him but am curious about his history, the family history.

While Colleen was clearing the dishes from the table my mom leaned over and whispered: I don't want to talk about this in front of Colleen.

I was kinda shocked since they're so close.

Colleen returned and mom got quiet. Annoyed that mom got quiet, Colleen stated: I guess you're not going to talk about it. I thought finally we get to hear Patti's story.

Thirty years after the fact my mom has never talked about Tom to anyone. Anyone!

When Colleen left again, mom said it's her dream to locate him, take a road trip to wherever he is, and for us to meet. In her words: to show him what he missed and to show what a good kid you are.

This is so curious and leads me to believe there's a lot mom's kept hidden since Tom left. It intrigues me to no end. Is it pride? Pride preventing her from exposing herself? Embarassment? Regret? Shame?

I'll have no idea until she decides to open up. I look forward to when she does.

n@s