9:47 a.m. I've been unemployed for about 5 weeks (techically, though while away in Cuba I wasn't thinking about my unemployment). During the time, I was distracted by tasks major (painting the attic/moving my stuff up) and minor (cleaning, raking, shovelling). Not that there's any less work to do around the house, I'm finding myself watching Dr. Phil and Oprah lately.

I've been trying to wake up between 8 and 9. Although I'm not working, I don't want to creep into a routine of sleeping in late. It's no vacation not working. Then lately, I've been getting up at 10 - 10:30.

I've looked regularly in the papers/internet for jobs although, I'm told, that they're only 20% of the jobs that exists. The rest are 'hidden'. Unrealistically, I was hoping for a job before xmas. I've been prolonging the xmas shopping in hope of learning I will have a new job.

Then yesterday, I had the fuck it attitude. The what-ever-happens-happens attitude. So I did a little shopping yesterday (beats sitting around my house all day feeling guilty). Managed to find gifts for Ames, Amanda and Matt. I even found some little items for Matt to take for his family. I need something for my mom - who claims she's the 'easiest person to buy for', my auntie and my uncle Paul. I figure my bank account is dwindling, but it's impossible (ok, not impossible, I just have shitty will power) to not get something you think the person will love!

And so the holidays are coming, as are the get togethers. I found out yesterday that Matt's leaving for the Soo on the 18th, returns on the 3rd and flies to Las Vegas for 4 or 5 days on the 4th. This was longer than I expected. My immediate, juvenile reaction when Matt told me was my pouty face. Pout, pout. Yeah, 3 weeks isn't long. It'll be the longest we've been apart, but given that I want to travel (albeit, eventually) we'll be separated for a longer period of time (I won't particularly enjoy that, but I'll at least be away experiencing new places). I just know that I'll miss him, especially at Christmas and New Year's.

Speaking of New Year's, I don't know what I want to do. Baderin has offered her cottage as a New Year's headquarters again. Celebrating with the OES would be good. I wonder if Amanda and Julia are going.

n@s