12:17 p.m. It's my own Fear Factor: riding in the same car as Matt's ex.

I'm dreading this 3 hour ride. I'd rather hold onto a cactus for 3 hours than embark on this trip to Ferris Provincial Park.

It's not, I don't think - I have no idea, actually, that his ex and I have a problem. Mind you, I haven't been around her long enough to even know. It's her and Matty. Well, it's her problem with Matty and he claims he has no idea why. There's much history to tell, but it would take eons to write about it. Lots of drama.

When I found out she was coming, I thought: great! This shall be an interesting weekend. I figured I'd just avoid her. Fortunately we're not sharing the same campsite.

But hell, I didn't think that we'd be riding up with her. Me thinks this isn't a great way to start the long weekend.

I just want to find out what her issues are. Feeling loyalty to Matt, I want to sort the situation (of course I realize these issues are way beyond my helping) because I know it bothers him. I hate thinking that she preoccupies his mind.

So when I get into the car, how should I act? Say a polite hello and not say anything the whole ride (likely the tactic she'll use)? Be extra bubbly and annoying?
Not looking forward to this. I should be going to Baderin's instead. At least the OES weekend's organized.

****

I had a dream about Sasha this morning. Very strange. A whole whack of people from my past and present were all partying at my cousin's old house. Then everyone started to leave. Matt kissed me goodnight and went home.
Then the next thing I know I'm in a bathroom with a hottub, sitting on the tub's edge. Sasha was sitting in it. I knew I shouldn't have been there. I knew what was about to happen was causing a knot in my stomach. But nothing happened.

Then *vroom* Sasha and I are in this cool loft sitting on his bed. We're talking (I don't remember what)and it's very comfortable. Sun's streaming through the big windows. I can see the grooves in the hardwood flooring.
Again, nothing happened but I woke up feeling incredibly guilty.

On my way to the gym I grabbed a random cd and the first song I listen to is one of Sasha's favourite songs. It jolted me. Why is he on my mind today?

n@s