12:34 p.m. There's a great article in the Globe (Wednesday) about a tree planting exhibit that auntie flagged for me to read. The artist is trying to capture the isolation that's apparant in the job with the internal journey tree planters may or may not embark "[S]he has exposed the bankruptcy of a long-held cultural myth: the Canadian psyche indentified with the infinite and unknown wilderness. There is no more true wilderness except in our deepest selves, and the only conquest to be made is of our own true 'nature', still as mysterious as an old dark living forest, seen only from the 'safety' of the bright edge of a clear cut.' This is so brilliantly true.

I went up north with way more stuff than I ever needed. I learned quickly that wearing the same clothes day in and day out was acceptable. Having dirt encrusted on your face was normal. Hygiene? What the hell is hygiene?

Tree planting strips you of your skin (actually, literally too). It forces you to adapt and to rely only on yourself. It's just you, a shitload of little trees and nature. There will always be something Romantic about the job - until the first day you plant. Then you realize there ain't nothing Romantic about it. You think you can tackle the earth, the trees, the rocks. You attempt to conquer, resist and rise above Mother Nature only to be slapped in the face by a branch. Surely to put you in your place. You're only a human in this big land. You suddenly feel quite small and rather insignificant in this world. A humbling experience for sure.

When I recall my planting gig, I shudder to think I even lasted a contract. That I endeared the weather, the blackflies, the haggard landscape in one piece is a miracle.

I chatted to one of Matty's friend's boytoy about planting when I heard he had planted (there's an instant bond between ex-planters). After swapping similar stories he told me he only lasted a month and praised me for even completing a contract. I smiled.

It completely mystifies me that people are willing to do this job, over and over again. Contract after contract. Yes, the job is physically daunting - I'm convince my periodic knee and back pains are a result of the repetitive work. Yet, never did I feel so healthy and so strongduring those months.

Whenever I look at the pictures I remember many key revelating moments, a few breakdowns (I had succumbed to nature), the highs and lows, the boxed wine like it was last summer. It was, indeed, a summer of humbling and new-found respect.

n@s